Good morning, fellow lifeforms. It’s day 10 over here in self accountability land and if there were report cards issued for this sort of thing, my average grade would be a C….maybe a B+ on a good day. Not exactly what we’re shooting for, right? Do other adults have their stuff together, their ducks in a row, all their socks matching? I don’t know, but a palpable cloud of sheer inadequacy is trolling me like an interminable fart.

Let’s start with the positive though. Numero uno – the diet and exercise is going well. As I stated before, my body seems to be the easiest thing for me to gain control over so, as expected, the marks over here are definitely B+ to maybe even an A. Last week, I got in four workouts and plan on pumping it up to 5 this week. To aid in keeping me accountable, I re-joined OrangeTheory Fitness and that will be two out of the five. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy; my hamstrings and quads are on fire and I want to die a little so it was good. I’ll just keep drinking coffee until the twitching becomes a distraction from the pain. No problem. Diet is also on track. It’s not as tight as a frog’s bumhole, but that can be changed with a couple tweaks this week. I allowed myself one cheat day on Saturday, which I was faithful in not gorging like a sugar deprived psychopath. You know what though, readers, I didn’t even enjoy the cheat that much so we’re just gonna snip that cheat day out of there. Just open the passenger door and kick that shit to the garbage littered curb. Byyyyee, see you never…. or maybe baking season.

Next, my reading and writing – uh, it’s a D for sure. Some reading happened this week, but not nearly what I wanted. If I wrote anything, it must have been in spooky, invisible ghost letters because I sure as fuck don’t see anything new except for what I’m writing right this moment. Terrible. The stank on my perseverance here is just freaking embarrassing, but I’m letting you nice folks know about it in the interest of transparency. And, as I always tell those who find themselves in my company, I have faults and vices, but lying isn’t one of them. The real problem has been that around 2-3pm every day, my energy level evaporates. It takes the first train to splitsville and returns every morning around 5am – clockwork, acting as if it didn’t abandon me the day before like I’m a half eaten hotdog with old mustard clinging to the bun. What an asshole. I’m not quite sure what the remedy to this is yet. Naps do not work for me. It exacerbates the whole situation. Extra coffee??? My caffeine intake is already next level. If I was fighting a boss battle and winning depended solely on my coffee consumption….bitch, I’ll tell you what, that boss is being decimated. I think I might try a good self help book to get my motivation grinding harder. “The War of Art” has been recommended by Joe Rogan and he is pretty damn legit. We’ll see if it’s on an audio app.

Lastly……and definitely least. I was supposed to find a hobby. Something to spice up the salad, so to speak. Yeah, no. That is a straight up F. You wouldn’t think it’s so difficult to select a hobby, would you? Well, you guys are probably normal-ish people doing normal-ish things, and thinking normal-ish thoughts, but I’m a fucking lizard person in human skin and, apparently, we don’t do well with gratuitous free time activities. I thought about starting a new video game since gaming used to be a HUGE part of my life. How huge? – you may ask. Well, here’s the answer whether you asked or not, puppy. Over two hundred hours logged on Final Fantasy X back in the day. Two hundred plus hours just on one game. Not to mention the hours I put into FFVII, FFVIII, FFIX, FFX-2…..and other games that weren’t Final Fantasy related. RPG’s are fucking serious, you guys. Motherfucking sidequests and shit. The problem here is that I end up feeling mucho guilty for just sitting there playing a game when I could be doing something constructive. Choices. Ugh. Again, if you fine folks have any input – give it to me, baby.

Let’s all do better for ourselves. Until next time,

Ms. Snow